yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
