I puked a lego.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
