Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
