Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
