i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
