She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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