I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
