he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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