pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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