Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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