I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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