mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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