The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
