It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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