woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
