I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
