Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
