I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
so much tequila, so little girl.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
