Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
