Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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