Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
