I'm really into asian looking animals
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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