think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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