coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
