sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
