The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
