You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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