look no pants
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
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