Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
