fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
