drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
