so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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