Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. ðŸ˜
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
