I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Of course I have a pirate flag
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
