The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
