We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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