Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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