Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
