and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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