i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
