i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
