I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
