guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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