my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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