Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
