Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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