I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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