Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
