Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
