matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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