I think scott just propositioned me for sex
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
