Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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