Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
