dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
