I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Pooping to opera.
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